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Monday, 23 November 2009

As I sat there with tears slowly making their way down my cheeks, I thought of my precious student-I could not imagine the confusion, the pain, the peer pressure...

He has fallen in with some bad friends, ones known for smoking, skipping school and chewing beetle nut.
My heart broke as I thought of the bright eyed, tender hearted little fellow who came to our school last year.
Agony. God, please let this little one find you! He needs your love.

I sat. Feeling the depth and distance between what I wished to tell him, and what I am able to communicate. Cell phone in one hand, his number in the other. God! Help! Staring through tears, I didn't look up at the face that spoke;
"馬伯匯在那裡" "Micheal is over there...."

In half disbelief and painful desperation I went, searching. Even now it is hard to hold back tears. My precious boy, God's dear child, this little lost lamb.....

God is teaching me what it means to intercede for someone. To gladly offer to go to hell to save this little one. To desperately cry out for a precious soul. To be broken up, over the state of a child without God.

My heart is in pieces. It is a supernatural thing for God to be able to fill to overflowing a broken heart.

The Holy Spirit's comfort to me was, in the same way that I am torn apart over my precious student, He is torn apart over me. He did enter hell for me.

He was heartbroken for me. He is heartbroken for you.

Please help me pray for Micheal. He doesn't know that the Almighty, Sovereign God of the universe is heartbroken over him. He only knows that I love him. Please pray that God will use me in this child's life. Pray for me as I am the salt and the light to Micheal and others. Pray that the abiding love of Christ would shine brightly though all of us here in Taiwan. Especially in Hualien.

Thank you

Thursday, 12 November 2009

I got up to see the sunrise and saw the moon instead.

The full old moon in all it’s night glory was basking in the morning advent of the sun. As I came to where land meets ocean to watch the appearing of day, I was presented with a gray wall of clouds. A reef of grayness reaching up to the sky. This wall obscured the horizon, squashing hopes of seeing the golden rays of the sun dance across the sea.

The moon was taking full advantage of these few extra moments of shadow before brightness overtook it, once again. He was still brilliant in his perfect roundness. He waited, as I did, for the prolonged coming of the light~The brightness to become day.

After several minutes it seemed like it was a loss. I searched the horizon for a glimmer of hope. A single thread of light…

I almost missed the other wonders around me. The waves crashing against the pier; Old Mr. Tugboat that had cheerfully started his day's work; The dogs and their owners who came to see the becoming of day.

But it was not to be seen.

I was saddened as I turned away from the gray coast. At least I could look at the moon, in mourning as he awaited his fate...The fading presence of the true light.

As I searched the sky, between buildings and trees for my old friend the moon, I saw it...The evidence of dawn. The clouds surrounding the mountains painted with apricot radiance, the sky glossed with rays of color and warmth…The sun had arrived. That moment of true dawn, pure light. I looked to the moon, yes. It had lost it's luster-the glistening nightly brightness had melted. It was day.

If only I had waited a bit longer…I could have witnessed the moment.

There is a moment, when even if you can’t see the light brightly-cannot make out the full sun...still you know without a doubt that a change has taken place.

It is a wonder; a moment, a miraculous blink of an eye…it is a turning.

It is a beautiful and wonderful thing to witness a turning. Whether it is of dawn becoming day, or a student deciding to try harder, all of them are precious and beholding.

As I took the last turn towards home, I took one last glance at the matte moon sinking behind the mountains. I noticed, for the first time today, that the sky is brilliantly blue! As my old friend bid me good day, promising to return again with a wink, I purposed to attend the dawn again. This time with a quiet, waiting confidence, that the moment I am waiting for will come.

I will not miss the turning again~

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

I have had pleanty of time to read.

Since my laptop went under, about six weeks ago, I have been able to do some good reading. I would recomend most of these books to any of my friends.
1st Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller.
He writes like he is having a conversation with you. He isn't writing at you, or for you....if you know what I mean. This is a great book.
2nd Every Woman's Battle. I had heard good things about the guy's version of the book. So, when I had the chance to buy in at the Doulos bookstore, I jumped. It was a really good deal too! I appreciate the premise of the book, and the wisdom inside. No joke we girls are emotional beings. We need to take special care to guard our hearts in a uniquely, and specific way.
3rd Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. Priscilla told me I would not be able to put it down. That is truer than I expected. This is a beautiful portrayal of God's love for us. It was a little painful to read at first, the reminder of the depravity of our world is stark. But it is worth it. An amazing, WONDERFUL book! I highly recomend it. Especially to those who need to banish the lies that the enemy is trying to make you believe.
4th Desire, by John Eldrege. This is another great, MUST read. The battle is for our hearts. If our desires are too weak, we will settle for mediocre, uneventful lives. But if we burn with desire for God and His glory, we can make a difference. I can't say enough good things about this book!
5th Shame Off You, by Alan Wright. This is an amazing book. I want everyone to read this book. It will change your life. I promise! I don't know where to begin. Please, if you can read any of these books I have listed, read this one.

That is all for now. I am in line to read The Prodigal God and Searching for God Knows What. I am rereading Blue Like Jazz, and sorta reading The Pleasures of God, by Piper.
If you have any suggestions, please let me know! Thanks!

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Oh, I feel so spent.... What a feeling! How satisfying! I have been chosen, appointed, sent and now spent.

"You did not choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit...."

God be glorified, because I have been spent, but it has not been of myself, and my own resources! God has brought me this far! And He will carry me to the end.

I feel like an oak tree that has been giving shade and shelter all summer long, and is waiting for the winter. We usually think of the winter as a time of hard coldness and death. But really, it is a time of rejuvenation and rest. But before winter, we cannot skip autumn.

This time of year is hardest for an English Teacher living in a foreign country. Actually, it may be hard for all teachers everywhere! You are wearing thin, you have less to give. You open your hand and your heart, but force of the river that once was flooding the banks has now slowed to a gentle stream.

It is hard for me to be like this. I don't like to have less to give. But then God reminded me of Autumn. It is my favorite season, actually. With the colorful leaves, the beautiful fiery reds, yellows and gold. . I may think of this time as not being significant, and a time to be endured-but God wants to work mightily and beautifully! I may have less to give, but He becomes more, when I am less. My weakness is His strength.

The source of the river that flows from my heart is never lacking or in need of anything! Especially not from me!

My prayer is that God will flood my heart and flow through me these last few weeks before I go home. That He will show His power and strength. That His name would be lifted up higher and higher, here in Hualien.

I pray that God will bless all of my teacher friends in Taiwan; that they would be bright lights of red and gold in their communities. That He would daily be their life and abiding joy.

Receive from the Lord the blessings He wishes to give you. (talking to myself here!)

Sent and spent as salt and light. What a life!

Friday, 03 April 2009

I cannot imagine being told that I could not cry for my father when he died. And not just because I am Irish and wear my emotions like a flower in my lapel.

I have made my peace with death. Tears have been my companion, the channels of healing in my heart.

My Buddhist friends tell me that they cannot cry in front of the Buddha.

I am so grateful for my God, he catches all my tears in a bottle. He keeps a record of my sorrows. He grieves for me.

Psalm 56:8

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”

My personal God cares. My God feels. His heart aches when mine does. When my heart breaks apart, he holds the pieces. He aches for me.

His heart is large, His emotions are stronger than the raging sea and the powerful wind. When my God feels, my heart sings.

When His face is turned toward me in delight, when he rejoices over me with joyful songs, I know the purpose He has ordained me to, my heart finds its rhythm, my soul soars with the angels.

I delight to be a child, to love and serve an emotional God.



“For the Lord your God is living among you.
                 He is a mighty savior.
   He will take delight in you with gladness.
       With his love, he will calm all your fears.
     He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

                                                               Zephaniah 3:17